Dear God...will I ever be as Wise as I am trying to be?

I have been studying the book of Proverbs since I was a little girl.  I have these tourets like moments where I just loose my cool and say the most inappropriate things.  I often lay in bed at night and stare off into the night sky through my large window on my side of the bed looking up thinking ...God what is wrong with me?

I want to be a wise woman who acts wise.  I don't just want to know about it...i want to live it out.
I am caught between the funny girl in me who has these great one liners that just sit on the tip of my tongue and want to roll off with such ease and the woman I know I can be.

I NEED HELP!
Of this I am certain.

A wise woman is one who has mastered the art of being funny, loving people, living life and reflecting the love of a God who totally gets her.  That in my opinion is a wise woman.  I long for the day when what I know to be true about me and what I live out in front of other people always align.

Every now and then I get the feeling like you must sit up there and laugh at some of the things I am thinking in my head from time to time...

I miss my kids and husband today.  I am in NY and being here without makes me feel like I don't belong.   Thank you that after 16 years I am finally satisfied.