If only I had listened...a conversation with God
Dear God,
I wonder if there are things that you were planning on giving me as a blessing if I had a little more courage to walk down the road a little bit furthur. The thought came to me as I was sitting reflecting on the many bad decisions that I have made in the course of my life and the little warnings I received from you along the way not to proceed. I was thinking...about the other extreme. What if when I was full of fear I had pushed through it earlier when I knew You were in it, and pushed past the feelings of insecurity and doubt and just went for it. What would life have been like? What blessing would have been mine sooner?
I sit here in the quiet of the morning. I sit here stunned that you would use me at all to give words of encourgement to people who are hurting. (I have been there)
I marvel that I can say with confidence...don't do that. I know the outcome will give you sorrow(because I have done it)
I watch in sadness sometimes that there is nothing I can do other than be a part of the warning.
I am hopeful to this end. The road I am on, leads me to You. One day I will know every blessing I missed out on, I will probably cry and laugh a little, and think back on how great it was that you let me figure it out on my own, but were always there to catch me when I came crashing down.
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